We knelt by the window, Abby and I. As she stood on my lap gazing at the lights on the porch, something in my heart stirred. She looked at the lights, she looked at me. She looked at the lights, she looked at me. Eyes full of wonder and a smile on her face. And then, she turned to me and laid her head on my shoulder and let out an “ahhh.” We sat like that for a few moments and then she popped her head back up and stared out at the lights against the dark night. As we shared this moment I cried quietly.
You see, I couldn’t help but go back to a year ago. The season of waiting. Waiting on the Lord to see our daughter. Wondering who she was, what were her circumstances, was she born, was she hungry, was her family hurting with their decision? Just before Christmas last year, it was almost unbearable. But as I look back at that season I see so clearly why my heart was hurting. God put that there because of what she was going through. To make me look back and realize how far she has come, how far we have come. I am thankful for a God who cares, who heals.
I like this new season. Seeing Abby grow and thrive. Seeing her brothers and sister love on her and the bond they have created with her. It feels like a good season. It is full of challenges, but it is good.
As I look back over the past year I can’t help but wonder what comes next. I am waiting as patient as I can to see God’s plan. I think about Abby here with us and my heart breaks for those left behind. God has broken my heart for the orphan and I pray every day that he reveals to me what I am supposed to do. It’s hard to wait. But it is just another season. Oh, how I love the changing of the seasons.