Our social worker came out for the first of three visits on Monday.
So yeah, we cleaned the house up and down, made sure the kids had something to do and gave them a good talking to before she came.
But it wasn’t scary or anything. It was actually a fun experience – although it went long (three hours!). Everyone likes to talk about themselves, and it was really about telling our story. We talked about our home (and did the tour), talked about where the baby would sleep, how we decided to adopt, what we have done for jobs, our church community and many other little threads that make up our lives.
And of course we like to talk about those things. It’s kind of therapeutic, but also helpful to step back and see the big picture sometimes. After all, that’s why we’re doing the blog, right?
One of the topics we did cover that was more of an education for us than a study for the social worker was attachment. The rules are much different with an adopted child, so there are all sorts of things you need to take into consideration when bringing an adopted child home.
Consider this. The baby will probably cry a lot for the first day or two. Ouch. It’s best not to let anyone hold or feed the baby for the first three months. Sorry grandparents. We should not go to any crowded places like the store, the mall, church – for at least the first couple of months. Cabin fever. We should keep stimulation to a minimum and slowly reintroduce it. Back off kids.
Nothing is overwhelming in this. But it has surprised me how much we have to learn. You learn a lot with your biological kids, but so much is intuition, trial and error, and modeling what you’ve seen with other good parenting. These instincts and learnings help, but with adoption many of the rules are different and there are many special considerations.
We’re just soaking all of this up like a sponge. It’s such a fun journey!