I have to capture a recent, powerful experience I had at work.

The past few weeks have been heavy and frantic, but they have given me glimpses into the desperate worlds that adoption pulls children from. And I’ve been able to vicariously experience the emotions of adoptive parents bringing their children home.

Part of my job is to coordinate an appropriate response from my company after a major disaster. We have a plan for providing donations, products and services, which was developed after the tsunami, then used several times, including Hurricane Katrina, Hurricane Ike, recent fires in Australia, and earthquakes in Indonesia and China.

So after the earthquake in Haiti, we mobilized a quick response, and focused much of our efforts on lending resources to get doctors, aid workers and supplies flown into the Port-Au-Prince airport with our corporate planes.

A few days after the quake, we received a request from a local adoption agency that startled me, because it was different than most of the requests we were fielding, and immediately put myself into the frame of mind of an adoptive parent.

I had been watching news reports and groaning to think of the orphaned children, many who were in the process of being adopted. The process is so long and complicated, and dependent on the legal systems of foreign countries. I understood, and had already heard stories about, children whose records were lost, a government that was decimated, and orphan homes that were destroyed, with children on the street.

I kept thinking what it would be like if a similar situation occurred in Ethiopia. We would be beside ourselves.

The adoption agency request was to fly groups of adoptive parents down to Miami. The US and Haitian governments had worked together to expedite the paperwork to get these kids freed up so they could leave the country and be with their adoptive parents.

These were not families that just signed up for adoption. They were in the last stages and were at risk of losing all they had worked for because of the earthquake. Yet, by many small miracles, they were able to get their little ones to Miami, and needed to meet them at the airport to go through immigration and bring their children home.

Thankfully, we got a quick approval that same morning, and by 2:00 pm the plane was leaving for Florida. The families met up with their kids that evening, spent all night and the next morning working through immigration, and flew home that afternoon.

I had already helped to coordinate several flights with a few different relief agencies, and had not been at our hangar to see them off, or to welcome them home. But this I had to see.

The waiting room was packed with families ready to welcome their new brothers and sisters, grandchildren, cousins or friends home. It was like the old days of families in a hospital waiting room, waiting to break out the cigars and confetti.

When the planes came in, there were cheers from the crowd, local television crews on hand, and smiling aviation staff glad to be a part of this exalted mission.

The families that emerged were tired and had the dazed look of new parents that are adjusting to a massive life change in a short time. It was a beautiful, natural thing and I had to keep looking away and breathing deep to calm my emotions.

Driving away that night, I was so excited for our time, and our daughter. It is easy for me to carve out the adoption part of my life and set it aside during the waiting period. It helps me to be patient and to avoid feeling low when another day passes without a phone call. But this experience brought me back to the magnitude of what we are undertaking and the power of adoption in building families from broken pieces.

Here are a couple links to the press stories, and some pictures taken by my colleague, Joel Van Kuiken:

http://www.woodtv.com/dpp/news/local/kent_county/W-Mich-parents-unite-with-Haitian-kids

http://www.wzzm13.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=117745

I wanted to share with all of you pieces of our teaching at church today.  Our pastor of student ministries has been speaking the past few weeks on a topic he calls Vision Leaks.  It centers around being connected to our identity and our mission.  He referred to how businesses use this concept.  They have this great vision of how they want things to run, but slowly cracks form and they move further away from what they started with.  He is a lover of coffee so today he talked about, as an example, the day Starbucks closed for several hours to re-train the employees.  They had moved too far from the model they wanted and needed to get closer to their original vision.

So, applying this to our faith…If we aren’t careful we forget the things in life that matter most.  i.e. selfless living, living a life of generosity, etc.  Today the topic he focused on was finding opportunity in our pain.  He said “What if the greatest pain in your life is in fact your greatest opportunity to reclaim your vision.”  He talked about how during our struggles God is there and He is giving us the chance to call on Him.  He died to give us life, to carry our burdens, for us to cry out to Him.

Another important point is that even times of great blessing can lead to a leak.  When we are too comfortable we can be in danger of feeling like we are in control and we can slowly slip away from God.  We need to cry out when we are struggling but also remember to PRAISE God for all the good.

Here is where our adoption journey plays into this.  He spoke of four lessons from the forty years in the desert.  I am focusing on two.  During trials, it is easy to get frustrated.  We get frustrated waiting for His timing.  We want things to keep moving but that isn’t always His plan.  It is so easy to get discouraged, waiting to get on the waitlist, waiting for THAT REFERRAL, the court dates, travel dates.  We try to take control and that puts us in danger of a leak.  The second lesson is during trial, there is an opportunity to grow.  We need to claim this time as a time to focus on Him.  Get into reading the Bible, be faithful in prayer, be His hands and feet.  He quoted C.S. Lewis “God whispers to us in our pleasure, speaks into our conscience, but shouts in our pains, it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”   Those are powerful words.

I just wonder if some of you are struggling. I know that this process can be so hard.  This doesn’t have to just pertain to those of you adopting but any of you who feel that you are struggling.  Please, hear Him.  He is the God who cares and loves you!

He closed with a video from Hillsong, The Desert Song.    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QemZQKKJbRU  Listen to these words, “This is my prayer in the desert when all that within me feels dry….my God is the God who provides.”  “All of my life in every season You are still God, I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship.”  I love these lyrics!

blessings,

~Kristi

Has it seriously been THAT long since we have posted?!  I am not great at this blogging thing.  I see some of the families from our agency and they are writing amazing stuff on a daily basis…putting me to shame, ladies. 

So, we have made it through the holiday season and it was great.  We spent time with family, enjoyed beautiful snowfall, played games and just tried to cherish our time together.  The birth of our Saviour is such an amazing reason to celebrate. 

I say it was great but I would not be completely honest if I didn’t tell you how hard it was.  Knowing that our daughter is out there and I don’t know who she is is just hard.  This is not a normal pregnancy, I don’t get to feel her kick, I don’t get to watch her grow in my belly, I have to answer a million questions…I was really hoping we would have received that referral call before Christmas.   But, bring on the new year, we are ready.  I have heard that they are expecting several referrals in the next few months so I am REALLY hoping that we will know her before the end of January. 

God has blessed us in so many ways.  We are healthy, we are warm, we are dressed, we are happy, we are fed, we have all that we need.  That is a gift.  I can’t help thinking about all the people who don’t even have all of that.  The birthmother of our daughter and what the circumstances are for her.  All of those kids that don’t even get the basics like a pair of shoes.  Recently, my parents purchased new luggage.  My mom told me she was maybe going to just throw out the old stuff.  I asked her if there was anything wrong with it.  It’s just worn out.  I told her I would like it to use to transport donations for Hannah’s Hope, the transition home our kids stay in.  She didn’t realize that we would be doing this and she started crying.  She told me she was going to start buying diapers and formula to bring to her grand-daughter’s home.  I just love the way my parents are embracing this process and the way their eyes are being opened to the needs out there.

Another thing my daughter wants to do is make bracelets for the girls at Hannah’s Hope.  Once we receive our referral she wants to invite some friends over for a bracelet making party.  Also, she wants to ask each friend to bring a donation for HH.  I love this.

I know God has led us here for a reason.  I love that we answered the call to grow our family through adoption.  I ask that you would all pray for these kids that need homes.  Pray that God would find their forever families.  Maybe, just maybe, He’s calling to you!

~Kristi

We’re getting a little tired with waiting. It’s great to see progress and all (yeah, number seven!), but it definitely feels like we are in between all the build-up and the actual introduction to our daughter.

Is it bad to complain?

In fact, it really hasn’t taken that long to get to this point. It was around this time last year when we started seriously researching adoption, and February or March when we started the process. Nine months have passed. The length of a normal pregnancy. But our first referral picture (ultrasound) will probably not come until after Chrismas and the delivery will be months after that.

Tick … tock …

At the same time, this has been a good period for our family. Things are manageable. Christmas schedules are picking up and work is always busy, but family time has been close and meaningful. We’ve had an easy rhythm going lately.

Maybe that’s the problem. We don’t have the usual overwhelmed parent feeling and are craving the next round of action. Parents addicted to chaos.

We think about the Adoption process less. Another number drops off. We get closer.

We think about Her more. We wait. We just want to bring her home. Thank you God for giving us patience.

Tick … tock …

- Jesse

Did you know that the former emperor of Ethiopia may have been a descendant of the line of David? Here’s some other cool facts about Ethiopia.

1. It’s big – about the size of Texas, New Mexico and Oklahoma combined.There are 80 different ethnic groups with their own languages and 85 million people in Ethiopia.
2. The oldest hominid fossils were found in Ethiopia. Remember 3.2 million year-old Lucy? Now there is Ardi, discovered in 1994, but just announced this year. Ardi dates back 4.4 million years.
3. The country is getting slowly torn apart by the Rift Valley, where two tectonic plates are separating into a huge valley with mountains, volcanoes, lakes and gorges.
4. Ethiopia has long been a free country. It’s the only country that was not colonized by the European powers. It was only occupied by Italy from 1936-1941, until the Brits helped to kick them out. When other African countries gained independence after WWII, so many copied their flag colors from Ethiopia that they became known as the colors of Africa.
5. Teff is a grain that only grows in Ethiopia, and is a key part of the country’s cuisine. Teff is made into a flat, squishy sourdough bread called injera and served with wat, a kind of stew, on top. Good stuff! Ethiopia was also the original source of the coffee bean.
6. Parents often take a few weeks to name their children. They wait to see what the child will be like. Many don’t celebrate birthdays. The Oromo celebrate a child’s growth every eight years.
7. One-third of the world’s frog species live only in Ethiopia. Two kinds eat snails whole – shells and all.
8. In Lalibela, you can see 800-year-old churches carved from solid rock, with rooms connected by underground tunnels.
9. When you think of Reggae, don’t just think of Jamaica. Think Ethiopia, the spiritual homeland of the Rastafaian religion.
10. And the deal with the emperor (died 1975) is that his dynasty went back to the Queen of Sheba, who visited Solomon (I Kings 10:1-13). The belief is that Solomon tricked her into sleeping with him, and she carried his child back to Ethiopia, which began the lineage. In fact, Ethiopia is mentioned in the Bible 45 times, first in Genesis 2 and last in Acts 8.

Can’t wait to visit!

Okay, so in October we were #2o and when we received our phone call last week our new # is 10.  Our case manager told us to keep in mind that there are probably a few families ahead of us that are working on their referral process and can’t officially be taken off of the waiting list.  Stay with me.  So, I found out that two days later the family that was at 37 for October moved to 25 for November.  That is 12 spots to our ten.  Now, does that mean we can now assume that those few families are  off of the list and we are at #8?  Are you following any of this?!  I just love playing the numbers game, it makes it so fun to wait.

My point to this post is that I want your best guess.  Your best guess as to when we will get “the call”.  You know I am carrying my cell phone with me at all times and every time it rings I jump.  So, give me your best guess.  Comment hear or on my Facebook page.  If for nothing else, just to humor this “expecting” mom. 

P.S.-I am realistic in my thinking and I know things could slow way down but I am just being optimistic that things will keep on moving.  And, having a little fun.

Thanks for all the encouraging words you send and for the continued prayer.  We are so blessed!

~Kristi

Now that we are getting close to referral time, several people have asked us about names. Have we picked out a name yet? Will she already have a name? Will we keep it?

The first thing we did when we learned we were pregnant with Hannah (our oldest, now is to go to Borders Books and look at baby names. I still remember poring through the baby names books, and even running into another couple who just found out they were expecting, also looking at baby books. We found the perfect name after looking over hundreds of choices. Same with Elliot and Logan. The boys took longer, but we like the names we chose, and the names fit the personalities.

But in this case, we really haven’t discussed names that much.

Maybe because Elliot already chose a name … “Ella is our baby sister from Africa” … before we had even told our kids that we were thinking about adopting. This was one of our signs that adoption was right for us. But we are still keeping our minds open as to whether Ella is really THE name.

Another reason we haven’t spent much time on it is that she will probably already have a name. It may be a beautiful Ethiopian name that will fit her just right. It may be something exotic that we will want to shorten to make it easier for Americans to say. And it may be too far out there to remain as a first name, and instead move into the middle name position.

According to the articles I’ve read, there are a couple of schools of thought on naming an adopted child, particularly one from a different race, culture and language. Both seem a little extreme.

The first side says that birth names should always be kept. We know from lots of research that adopted children will struggle with identity at different times in their life. This theory says that taking away their birth name is like taking away a piece of their identity.

The other side recognizes the need for children to feel like they fit in, both with their adopted family and in their surrounding community. A birth name that is too exotic, they say, will make it even harder for an adopted child to establish a strong sense of belonging in their adopted family and community.

I’m not sure either side wins the argument. We will wait and keep our minds open.

In the end, I think we will know what name is right, just like we did with our other kids. And as she grows up, she will add life and meaning to her name … whatever it may be.

-Jesse

I have no good reason for why we have not posted in so long.  I guess life is going by so quick and I keep telling myself that I’ll post later and later turns into even later and now, well it’s just time to post something.

There has been a lot of movement on the list.  Like insane movement.  If the “unofficial” list on our yahoo group is right then we have gone from 20 to 11 in less than a month.  You can imagine that has us scrambling a bit, in a good way.  Things to think about include travel immunizations, health insurance coverage, arrangements for our kids while we travel,  and so many more.  I just can’t wait to talk to our case manager next week to hear about our official movement.

In the meantime, I continue to pray for the AGCI families and their court dates.  For the staff and kids at HH.  For the staff at AGCI.  We have been so blessed by their continued caring and willingness to answer any questions. 

As I write this I am distracted by my coughing children as we have been bit by the H1N1 bug here.  I am praying that my own family can kick this and get well again.

So much going on but so thankful to see God’s hand working in all of it.

~Kristi

We’re a little slow on updating our blog because … well … there’s not much happening. Here are a few other friends and remote acquaintances who have adoption blogs related to Ethiopia.

We will try to keep this updated, and please let us know if you hear of others. While not all adoptive parents blog, we have met (or heard about) lots of people in Grand Rapids adopting from Ethiopia. We’re creating quite the future community here!

http://scottsadoptionjourney.blogspot.com

http://beldgrowinghome.blogspot.com

http://heartofadoption.blogspot.com

http://terhaarfamily.blogspot.com

http://www.dykstramedia.com/adoption.php

http://thelawsonadoptionjourney.blogspot.com

Jesse

Passing along to my fellow fans of Ethiopa. Kristi and I are going to try to attend.

 

Former Prime Minister of Ethiopia, Tamrat Layne Wednesday

September 30 7:30 pm

Calvin College – Gezon Auditorium

Former Prime Minister of Ethiopia, Tamrat Layne, will speak at Calvin on Wednesday, September 30, 2009 at 7:30 p.m. on Transformation in Jesus. The event will take place on the Calvin College campus in the Gezon Auditorium.

Layne was one of the founding members of the former Ethiopian Peoples Democratic Movement (EPDM) [now the Amhara National Democratic Movement (ANDM)]. As a leader in the organization, he was an active participant in the seventeen years of rebellion prior to their overthrow of the socialist military dictatorship in Ethiopia, when he became deputy prime minister. But in 1996, he was arrested, charged, and convicted of corruption and abuse of power.

Layne served twelve years in prison in Ethiopia, and was recently released six years before completing his 18 year sentence. While incarcerated, Tamrat Layne became deeply religious, converting to Christianity in 2001. In an interview with Addis Fortune after his release on December 19, 2008, he said, “I am a man of God. I’ve no desire to engage in personal or party politics. I would like to preach faith, peace and love.”

The lecture is free and open to the public.For more information, please contact Todd Cioffi, 616-526-7797.

This lecture is co-sponsored by the Henry Institute, the Calvin College President’s Office, the Nagel Institute for the Study of World Christianity, and the Calvin Institute of Christian Worship.